Kari Lake Storms Out of Thanksgiving After Losing Battle for Wishbone

    PHOENIX (The Borowitz Report)—The former anchorwoman Kari Lake reportedly “stormed out” of Thanksgiving dinner after losing a pitched battle over the wishbone, multiple witnesses reported.

    According to those who saw the ugly scene unfold, Lake was locked in a fierce struggle over the turkey part with a rival identified by several onlookers as her nine-year-old niece Paisley.

    After Lake’s attempt to win a majority of the wishbone was soundly defeated, she blasted the contest for being riddled with fraud.

    “When the truth comes out, I am going to be your worst nightmare,” she reportedly told her niece.

    Just prior to her angry departure from the dinner, Lake had angrily rejected a demotion to the children’s table, relatives said.

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